Subtle start

As strange as it may seem, some things on this Earth scare me and fascinate me at the same time, like the sight of lightning striking over an empty field, or on the roof tops of the big city. I watch closely, but carefully hidden behind the glass window that protects me from the unknown electrifying feeling of being outside in the rain, yet still want to touch it. I want to be a part of lightning, to unify Earth and the skies, to become everything, even for one second. To shine, to strike a chord in somebody?s heart, to strike a pose in front of the Shallow, to strike the world and the one, all at once.

Being afraid has restrained me from living my dreams so far. It has kept me calm and cool behind walls that do not allow me to see beyond the modern world in which I believe to live in. It has kept me from writing the things my heart truly wants to express, the emotions held so tightly behind a sieve that prevents me from getting anything out, anything that might compromise the comfort with which I bore my nights and days. Any gesture of letting myself out of my own nightmare is subsequently followed by apologies and excuses. Sometimes I honestly believe that I don?t deserve all the beauty of life, all the beauty Earth has to offer. And then, I remember that I?m tied up by financial constraints, educational constraints, all types of constraints which I wish to ignore further on.

Since I can?t visit the world all at once, I might as well take a journey through my head and see if anything interesting pops up in the process. Maybe an idea, maybe some way of making a world tour without leaving university, family and friends behind, maybe the perfect novel to launch as a start of what I have to show. Maybe a small glimpse of light, a small part of lightning.

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