We’re not 19 anymore

Surface Pro 2 Seeding Blogger AustriaAlthough it feels so awkward having to say this: kids, we’re almost grown ups now. Most of the people my age reading this post at this very moment have either had their graduation ceremony or are getting ready to celebrate in the next couple of weeks. After that, it’s off to the real world (or at least off to the race for a Master’s degree). What have we accomplished so far? What are we about to xPRiment? Is there a life after the final finals and after the papers are due?

After trying to sit this article out and write it from the Surface Pro 2 on my lap, I realized that it makes much more sense to just place it on my desk and write on it like I would on a normal computer. I won’t go on telling you about the specs and qualities of this device since in the last two weeks, I didn’t quite manage to turn it into my daily driver for obvious reasons (all my files and accounts are stored on my other notebook and, as I am writing these thoughts, music is playing from the other one in the background). Ok, I just opened another tab on this device and am currently playing Adele. Sweet Adele. Back to the actual article.

You see, I’ve spent these past four years “sitting with a Surface” on my lap instead of simply placing it onto my desk. It seems so clear to me that all I should have done was just put the damn thing in a place where I usually sit most comfortably. All I need to do now is just focus on exactly that part of me that got me starting a blog in the first place. It wasn’t the freebies or the conference tickets or even the beloved blog meets. It was simply the fact that I love writing.

For years, I have tried to convince myself that writing will not get me anywhere at this age and that I have to do a ton of extra stuff just to keep in touch with the real world. Just like this little tablet over here turned laptop that you can touch but also use a mouse on (I just connected my mouse to the Surface via USB port and suddenly the whole thing got brighter) – it got much too complicated. I am indeed a complicated person and you do need a good instruction guide in order to get hold of me properly, but, if you ask my mom or dad at any time of the day what their daughter wants to achieve in life, their answer will be; “the Nobel prize for literature”.

Sure, I can try to obtain it by writing my stories from a gadget at night after hours of work, university papers and a bit of procrastination, but why should I? It’s not like I have to. There’s nothing in the world (besides some contracts I signed and a promise I made to myself four years ago) that keeps me from at least giving this dream of mine a chance to unfold. Maybe, probably, I’ll fail miserably at it. Nevertheless, I love Social Media and all the mumbo jumbo that surrounds it and don’t know if it’s that easy to just let go of everything. But if I won’t do it now, then maybe next time I’ll give it a shot I won’t be anywhere near 22 going on 23.


Painted my nails turquoise and the laptop’s running out of battery. Just a casual Saturday night, I’m standing on my head and thinking about everything that happened this week. For the first time, I actually managed to get all my thoughts together in a single piece of mind. It’s been a long, hard week. And right now I can’t even believe that it’s finally reaching an end.

One always has to give up on something to gain something else. This time, the stakes were too high. I lost a friend for Paris, I’ll probably have to talk to many more the months to come…but it all comes down to the most important question of this semester: are you able to understand me and stay next to me no matter what? If not, just go ahead and mind your own business.

Because for me, friendships are all so much more than just BUSINESS. They’re about learning from each others mistakes, taking chances and discovering the other one even if it means letting go of yourself every once in a while. Unfortunately, I had to learn the rough way that it goes the other way around too: sometimes discovering yourself means letting the other one go.

people change

you should find that out as soon as possible. before you get hurt.

people change even if they don’t want to. even if they strive to remain the same, something’s always different than before. not only because of them, but because of the circumstances. because of other people, who also change.

people change and become better people, although they’re not in the same room as you. people meet new people, fall in love with new people, get friends with new people, forget about the ones than once meant the world to them or just…keep them in mind for later.

and that’s not even a bad thing. it’s just a way to move on with your life and find people who change in the same pace as you do. make them your true friends and connect with them for good.

don’t try to stop people from changing. because you can’t. it’s just the way it is, you either take it or leave it.

remember that change is the only constant thing in this world. and embrace it with your every thought.

[kelly rowland and david guetta-when love takes over]

this post was written in order to remind you that I don’t blame you for changing, as long as you still want the best for me. thank you for being a part of my life, and I wish you all you want from now on. even if it doesn’t include me.


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